For Cal

[hisfathersimage]

It was two months after Endor.

A perfectly normal (for him) night's sleep was interrupted. It was like a mental hiccup, or a system reboot. He wasn't aware of anything and then-

The bond snapped into place before he gained awareness. It was old and young and familiar, a previously cautious candlelight that felt closer to a hearthfire now, tempered and warming and clear. The memories rushed back as he woke, sitting up with a choked gasp and a flare of Force awareness and anxiety bright enough that he felt Leia awaken on the otherside of the system with it.

He couldn't explain to her. To anyone. All he could do was throw on clothes as he went, grabbing the bare necessities and choking out something about 'Jedi business, another Jedi, I can feel him' before he was loading up R2 and the X-Wing.

Outer Rim.

He went to Botajef. Intersection of major hyperspace lanes. Near Dathomir, near Yavin, it felt significant and right.

And once he was there, he set himself outside of the main city and he reached out, along the bond and just in general, because he knows the bond is good, but at the same time, he isn't confident about it.

Cal Kestis. I'm here. I know you.

Comments

[hisfathersimage]

If they fall back into kissing, they won't get anything eaten. Luke knows it. Cal knows it. The Force knows it.

He even keeps the robe on to make it easier on them.

Things are quiet for a bit as they both get some food in them. And some liquids.

[bunchofscrewups]

That might be true. But Cal also might be hungry enough to insist on eating. He's definitely hungry enough to be glad for the silence so he can focus on that, and not rush too much so he can properly savour the fact that this is the freshest food he's had in a couple of weeks.

Eventually, when he feels full enough to really slow down, he leans back against the headboard with a satisfied sigh.

"So ... There's a lot to catch you up on. Anything you want to ask?"

Probably difficult for Luke to know just what to ask, but he might as well check.

[hisfathersimage]

Luke eats, but spends a certain amount of time just watching Cal, enjoying his presence and the comfort of the bond between them.

Things to ask... there are things he wants to ask, but isn't sure he should. But so many more that he just doesn't know enough to begin articulating questions.

"You can tell me you don't want to answer but... has there been anyone else? It's been a long time, I don't want to think you were alone for all of it," he hurries to explain. Not about jealousy or competition. Just, wanting to know who else has mattered, has given Cal a sense of belonging.

[bunchofscrewups]

Truthfully, he was never worried that Luke might be jealous. Maybe the fact that that was never a problem had more to do with the circumstances that they were forced in to in Duplicity, but he also always felt that Luke was simply like that. That what mattered to him was simply that the people he loves are happy, more than anything else.

The smile that spreads on Cal's face is warm, and he idly stirs the stew.

"Yeah," he says, with a quick nod. "Merrin. We were together a couple of years. I tried with some other people I met, too, but no one else was anything close to what I had with both of you. Maybe if we never met I would've stayed with her too, but I knew I was just waiting on you so I decided to ... stop trying." After a second, he realises how it sounds, and turns to look at Luke with a reassuring smile. "But I still see Merrin a lot. And others. I've never really been alone."

[hisfathersimage]

And sure enough, Luke just smiles, honestly glad that Cal's had someone. "I hope I get to meet her one day. She must be something special if it lasted a couple of years." He offers his left hand to Cal, hoping Cal might share some of his emotions and impressions about Merrin.

[bunchofscrewups]

"Oh, I intend to introduce you. And I hope you intend to introduce me to Leia and the others."

But he's glad to offer his perspective for now, reaching out to take that hand. The unlikely alliance - Nightsister and Jedi - formed by shared experiences of loss, grief, and pain, but also of hope and fervour. Losing everyone they loved only to find a new family together, and deciding that they'd fight to ensure no one else ever had to go through what they went through.

He still remembers the moment she decided to travel with them, as clear as if it were yesterday.

'Nightsisters and Jedi do not travel together, but survivors ... We adapt.'

[hisfathersimage]

The name means nothing to Luke, but the feelings, the unifying force of grief, finding a new family in the grips of it...

It was how he and Han met, while he was grieving his aunt and uncle. And he and Leia, her in the cold shock of losing Alderaan, him in the shock of Ben's death echoing in his soul.

He squeezes Cal's hand, giving a small smile and a nod. "Definitely."

[bunchofscrewups]

And that is also the reason the two of them got along so easily, understood each other without having to explain anything. He squeezes Luke's hand in turn, then lets go to keep eating.

"And I guess this is relevant to your interests-- We ended up being responsible for a Force-sensitive child. All grown up now. You'll get to meet her too."

[hisfathersimage]

"... you have a daughter." Wow. Cal has a daughter. Not by blood, but they both know that doesn't have to mean anything. "How old is she? What's her name? Is she with Merrin, I shouldn't really assume you raised her with Merrin..."

[bunchofscrewups]

"She probably wouldn't think of herself as that, but yeah." He can't deny that's what he's thought of her as, for a long time. "Her name is Kata. She's 21, and last I heard, she's with Merrin, yeah. We did kind of raise her together, but a lot of others were involved too. She had a lot of people looking out for her."

All she'd wanted was to not be alone, and they'd made sure she never would be.

[hisfathersimage]

A little younger than Luke and Leia.

"I've heard it takes a village to raise a kid. Probably more so when it's a Force sensitive child." And they didn't have a training bond keeping their abilities smothered and under control.

[bunchofscrewups]

"Yeah," he breathes out with a quiet laugh. "I'm not sure how we would've done if it was just the two of us." He pauses for a moment, holding a spoon of stew in front of his mouth. "I'll have to tell you the whole story someday, but not right now. It's a very bad one."

For now, he'd prefer to focus on the good.

[hisfathersimage]

Luke just nods. He understands. Sometimes, the best things come from the worst possible shit and you can't wreck your head space in that moment.

"Do you think she'll be okay with me? Us?"

[bunchofscrewups]

He takes that spoonful of stew, and chews it in thought. The age difference between them is something that has been on his mind, something that's made him think maybe he should try to explain what really happened. Since actually reuniting, though, he hasn't thought about it.

"I don't know. I sure hope so. Maybe it'll just take some getting used to." He shakes his head a little. "Should we ... try to explain? I'm just not sure where to even begin."

[hisfathersimage]

How do you explain?

Did it happen?

Well, it happened to their minds and souls, which means it did happen, even if their bodies were unaffected by that time. "Maybe, we should tell them we shared a Force vision across time and space. We were stuck somewhere, together and got to know each other. It's not... not the truth."

He pauses, then laughs. "From a certain point of view, it's what happened."

[bunchofscrewups]

...

Huh.

"That's ... pretty brilliant, actually. And you're right. That's sort of what happened. At least, we don't exactly have any other way of explaining it."

So that might as well be what happened.

[hisfathersimage]

"I can't prove it's not what happened," Luke says as his agreement. "It seems as likely as what we thought happened. Maybe more so."

He sips at the milk, letting the flavour sit for a moment before swallowing. "I can understand a Force vision more than- that place."

[bunchofscrewups]

"Yeah, I ... try not to think about it too hard."

If he does, he just ends up falling into a hole unpleasant existentialism about what they really are and what's out there, both within and outside of the known universe. He prefers avoiding it so he can simply enjoy the joy and wonder in exploring new things.

[hisfathersimage]

Luke can't help but flash back to their first shared intimacy. Him trying to get Cal out of punishment, sharing his scars to level the power dynamic between them after the indignity that that place had put the boy through.

He shakes his head to dislodge the thoughts. "Probably best. I need more experience at it."

[bunchofscrewups]

"It's the kind of thing that just needs time."

Like most hardships. It's not always enough, but it usually helps, and Cal's pretty sure Luke is equipped to deal with it. Considering that he's still so warm and kind after everything he's been through, Duplicity isn't all that heavy.

Though it sure was its own special kind of hell.

Cal puts his empty bowl of food away, and shifts closer to Luke, sliding an arm around him.

[hisfathersimage]

Cal's finished eating and Luke's had all he really wants for now. He pushes his own bowl away with a thought back to the tray and tucks himself in against Cal. An arm goes around Cal's waist, his head coming to his shoulder.

"I've got time and you. It'll be fine."

[bunchofscrewups]

"Yeah," he whispers, and turns his head to bury his nose in Luke's hair, breathing him in. There's a slight pause, as he realises, with a smile-- "You smell just like I remember."

He didn't know he remembers it, but in this moment, he knows. There are some differences, but what matters, what is plainly and simply Luke, is the same.

[hisfathersimage]

It takes a moment, but Luke shifts his weight, coming around to settle into Cal's lap, like their last night in Duplicity. He wraps his legs around the other man's waist and hips, sliding in close to press them together all along the front.

He snuggles in again at that point, hugging Cal tight.

[bunchofscrewups]

He makes a quiet sound of surprise when he feels Luke's weight on his lap. It's a suggestive move, and he can feel arousal stir in him, but he doesn't act on it immediately. More than anything, he wants to just rest, so when Luke uses that closeness purely to hold on ... He certainly has no complaints.

Wrapping both arms around Luke, he buries his face in his neck and settles there. Just to breathe. Along with the warmth of love in his chest, there's an ache that twists his throat, a longing to have a life like this. A life with affection and warmth and no worries or suffering. They didn't have it in Duplicity and they won't have it here. He supposes the truth is no one can have that, not completely, but for them ... Could they ever have it, even just for a fleeting moment?

The older he gets, the more he understands Bode's desperation.

[hisfathersimage]

It is a little suggestive, given they're both naked, but it's more about the skin on skin than anything else. It's a reminder of before Cal spent years carrying those memories alone and that he isn't going to be alone with them again.

Luke's fingertips brush back and forth over skin, hand shifting to rest protectively at the nape of Cal's neck, encouraging him to stay pressed close as long as he wants. They have the time for now. He presses a kiss to the side of the man's head and then just rests his own head there, eyes half closing and sighing out a soft breath.