For Cal

[hisfathersimage]

It was two months after Endor.

A perfectly normal (for him) night's sleep was interrupted. It was like a mental hiccup, or a system reboot. He wasn't aware of anything and then-

The bond snapped into place before he gained awareness. It was old and young and familiar, a previously cautious candlelight that felt closer to a hearthfire now, tempered and warming and clear. The memories rushed back as he woke, sitting up with a choked gasp and a flare of Force awareness and anxiety bright enough that he felt Leia awaken on the otherside of the system with it.

He couldn't explain to her. To anyone. All he could do was throw on clothes as he went, grabbing the bare necessities and choking out something about 'Jedi business, another Jedi, I can feel him' before he was loading up R2 and the X-Wing.

Outer Rim.

He went to Botajef. Intersection of major hyperspace lanes. Near Dathomir, near Yavin, it felt significant and right.

And once he was there, he set himself outside of the main city and he reached out, along the bond and just in general, because he knows the bond is good, but at the same time, he isn't confident about it.

Cal Kestis. I'm here. I know you.

Comments

[hisfathersimage]

Luke groans and sways into Cal's grip, eyes closing.

"Yeah. 'Sa good idea." They can go somewhere with minimal shooting. Nice amounts of sun and rain. No Imperial garrison.

[bunchofscrewups]

His lips spread in a wide smile at the obvious bliss, and keeps going. If it'll make Luke melt against him like that, he could possibly do this forever.

"Is there anywhere you'd like to go?"

[hisfathersimage]

"Somewhere without an Imperial Garrison." That couldn't be impossible, could it? "Without a bounty hunter guild outpost would be nice, but that might be a miracle."

[bunchofscrewups]

His voice grows quieter and slower as he speaks, sort of thinking while speaking, and half distracted by Luke's hair.

"I guess that depends what we're looking for. If you're thinking eating at restaurants and ... I don't know, going to museums?" He's not sure he's ever actually been to a museum in his life. "Probably a miracle. But maybe we could find somewhere untouched, or mostly untouched."

[hisfathersimage]

"I'd be happy with no being shot at for a while. Civilisation can be overrated."

Even without the memories, but with them... He wants away from the crush and expectations of people. Not 'the last Jedi', not 'hero of the republic'. (Not 'Dominant', not as anything more than a flirt and tease in the bedroom.)

"A few towns would be nice, but I can do without the cities for a while."

[bunchofscrewups]

"Then, let's just ... fly off somewhere, in the outer Outer Rim, or maybe even further. See what we find."

It would be dangerous, of course, and more so the further out you get. But there's excitement in it too, the idea of just picking a direction and going until you find something new and unfamiliar. Somewhere far far away.

[hisfathersimage]

A lot less dangerous for a pair of Jedi than for just about anyone else, though. "You have a ship. R2 is quite capable of piloting the X-Wing, he's done it enough times, including the time he stole it, the little shit." He snuggles in closer to Cal, rubbing his cheek on the nearest expanse of skin.

[bunchofscrewups]

When Luke moves yet closer, Cal lowers his hands in favour of just holding him. Luke's hair is definitely thoroughly washed now, anyway, so Cal just takes a step back to bring him under the stream properly.

There is a long list of things he'd like them to do, people he'd like Luke to meet, but he's more than happy with the idea of it being just them for a while. Some time away to talk, to enjoy each other's company, to not think about anything else.

"Good, because I was about to say I'm not a great pilot. At least not as good as you, and I'd bet money on that."

Even if he got better after their first flight to Tanalorr.

[hisfathersimage]

"Skywalkers fly."

It was something he heard growing up and has heard since. Skywalkers fly. And while he's probably never going to be the pilot his father was, he should be enough for the two of them and their droids.

His hands are still exploring the planes of Cal's body, a bit lazy, lingering on defined muscle and new scars. "I will have to crawl all over that ship though, get it running how I like."

[bunchofscrewups]

"Feel free. If I still had the Mantis, Greez would've had some choice words about it, but luckily I've got my own now."

It just didn't do to keep borrowing the Mantis, especially not when Greez was unhappy about how he'd treated it every time. Like this, everyone is happy. And since he needed a ship he could also live on, that means there's space for the both of them.

Which was something else he wanted when looking for a ship. Enough space for two.

[hisfathersimage]

Wanted and had known to look for.

Luke looks up at Cal, hand coming to rest on his cheek again, nails lightly scratching. "I'm so sorry you spent so long waiting. I'm not saying it's my fault, I'm just sorry you went through that."

Which he softens with a lingering kiss.

[bunchofscrewups]

All those times he'd wished he had Luke by his side - all those times he struggled with his own morals, with his reasons for everything he was doing, when he lost people that he loved - suddenly seem very small and unimportant now that they're here. Of course, they weren't. They were monumental. There had been so much anxiety, so much grief, so much anger and hatred, and he knows Luke would've known just the right thing to say every time.

He'd had Greez and Merrin, of course. And BD-1, and Zee. Everyone on Koboh, honestly, had been a comfort. Without them ...

No point thinking about the what-ifs. They'd been together, and that had made all the difference. And now he finally has Luke. Finally.

"Me too. I'm so glad it's over."

[hisfathersimage]

Their bond is strong and Luke can feel flickers of emotion from Cal, complicated and fleeting, weighty with age and lightened a little by distance of time. All he can do is press another soft kiss to Cal's mouth, hand just a little possessive on his jaw still.

"I know we're going to fly off and just abandon society for a while... but for now, room service and back to bed?" For now, Cal deserves a bit of spoiling.

[bunchofscrewups]

"Yeah," he breathes out in a whisper, and gently bumps his forehead into Luke's as his arms squeeze around him.

After a couple of seconds, he reluctantly lets go. A fleeting thought that he wishes Luke could have met Cere passes through his mind, along with a twinge of grief and regret, and he takes a deep breath to let it go and not linger on it. Not the first time he thinks about it, and it won't be the last. Just as usual, it's accompanied with the thought 'what if I'd stayed, what if I'd gone back like Bode said I should'. And, as usual, he tells himself that maybe he would be dead too. Impossible to know, pointless to think about.

He offers a smile that he immediately tells is sadder than he means it to be. He wants to tell Luke everything that's happened right this moment, and at the same time he feels exhausted by the very idea.

[hisfathersimage]

Luke shuts off the water with a thought, unwilling to turn his attention (and hands) from Cal right now. There's a fragility to him, one he'd always had but less covered with bluster or fear than it was before.

"We've got time," he promises. "There's no rush, I know there's a lot for me to catch up on, but I don't need to know it all now. I know it happened. That's enough."

[bunchofscrewups]

And, of course, he doesn't need to voice any of it because Luke can tell. He laughs a little, and brings his hands up to cup Luke's cheeks.

"I'd forgotten what it's like to be around you."

That they barely even need to speak, that they just know these things anyway. After so long away from it, it feels strange, a little more exposed than he usually prefers. If it was anyone but Luke, it would be disturbing. But it's definitely strange.

He'll get used to it.

[hisfathersimage]

Bursting with empathy, mundane and otherwise. He doesn't know details, just feels the emotions as they rise and sink.

"I hope that's more good than bad," he quips, but he's also letting his eyes drift and leaning into the hands on him with a smile on his face.

[bunchofscrewups]

"It is."

He's not worried about Luke knowing everything about him.

With the water turned off, the air's starting to feel pretty chilly, and as a shiver runs through him he drops his hands again. He needs a towel.

"Okay, let's go."

[hisfathersimage]

Luke's got a lot more used to cold, and he normally loves air drying as a luxury he just didn't have growing up, but Cal's made a good point. Standing around in the shower pales in comparison to going back to bed.

He crowds them both out, calling towels to them as they go.

[bunchofscrewups]

He wastes no time wrapping himself up in the towel, drying off his face as he walks out of the bathroom. And he stops outside the doorway, looking at his pile of clothes left in a pile from earlier and ... Putting those on would mean all the effort to get a bit cleaner would be wasted, and he didn't bring any from the ship.

"I don't have a change of clothes," he says, covering half his face with a hand as he huffs wryly at himself.

[hisfathersimage]

Luke has clean clothes and could go get them for him...

Instead, he roughly and quickly dries off his body before starting to towel is hair into a drier mess. "Well, I suppose you're trapped here until they've been through a clean and returned. Stuck with me. Naked."

[bunchofscrewups]

With a playfully offended sound, he takes a step closer to put a hand on Luke's head, ruffling his hair and then gently shoving him. There's no need to read Luke's mind for him to know there are probably clean clothes here, and even if they wouldn't quite fit him, they'd do. But lounging around naked for a while doesn't seem like a bad plan either.

"I see. You just want to be able to touch me when you please."

Which he absolutely does not have a problem with.

[hisfathersimage]

"Absolutely." And there's no shame about it either. "I'd like to touch you as much as possible for as long as you'll let me." He just keeps grinning as he's lightly shoved about. "Or, you know, if you insist, I could get dressed and go and get your clothes from your ship. But only if you really, really insist."

[bunchofscrewups]

Being without Luke, even if only the few minutes it would take to run that errand, is a thought he'd rather not entertain right now. Maybe in a few days he'll stop feeling like it's not real, and then he'll be able to relax and let Luke out of his sight without feeling ... something. He's not sure what it would feel like, since Luke hasn't left. He'd rather not find out.

So he shakes his head with a quiet noise instead of the word 'no', then moves yet closer to wrap his arms and his towel around Luke from behind. And he burrows his nose in the back of his neck, closing his eyes as he breathes him in.

[hisfathersimage]

There's a pin prickling down his spine of anxiety that isn't his and then warm, freckled arms around him and a warm body he can encourage to drape over him. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm staying with you."

He reaches back with one hand to rub Cal's scalp. "I know you. I'm here."